Tender Love

A few weeks back, my friend Terry Foley shared with me a personal experience that moved me deeply.  His story demonstrated how love has its own power and is the only force capable of conquering the human heart.  As I reflect on Terry's experience, something Mother Teresa once said comes to mind, "Love to be real, it must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self."  In this season of love, I would like to share Terry's experience with you.  May it reaffirm in your heart that the most beautiful gift we all possess is the ability to love.  For only love can summon a response of love in our lives and in our world as the following story of Tender Love beautifully portrays.  I trust it will touch you heart in a special way.

The night came and passed and its sounds were of things a man grows accustomed to, but never trusts.  In my ignorance I lay there listening.  I held her most of the night while a blizzard blew, whiting out the room's only window.  Before drifting off, she asked me to hold her again.  Morning would soon arrive and as I lay there with her in my arms, I recalled our love story.  On this occasion, I didn't think of the bad times, only the good.  I did not want my sadness to affect her.  I would think of the bad when I was alone.  She had another love and my greatest fear was that she would shortly leave me to be with him.  But for now, she was here with me, safe in my arms and that was all that mattered.

As her head lay gently on my shoulder, I could feel her warm, irregular breathing on my neck.  After some time, she fell into a deep sleep.  I slowly removed my arms from her tender body and quietly rose from the bed.  It had been a couple of days since I changed my clothes and I wondered if I smelled.  I stumbled to one side of the room and reached down to the floor, pulled one boot on at a time, then slipped into the hallway to grab a cup of coffee.  When I returned, I sat down in a chair next to her bed and watched her.  For a long time, I stared and marveled at her indescribable beauty.  Thoughts roamed freely through my mind of all the joy she brought to my life.  I wondered, "How could a man love anyone more?"  She was beautiful, so wonderfully beautiful.  I thought back to the day I first laid my eyes upon her.  When I saw her, I was instantly filled with a passion that has not abated with time.  She arrived at a point in my life where I wanted deeper meaning in my relationships, where I wanted substance to go along with my natural exuberance for life.  All this came with my first glance of her.  From that moment on, my heart was forever hers.

Lost in my thoughts, staring silently into a reflective pool of memories, she opened her eyes, but just for a moment.  She stretched her arms toward me and I smiled and went to her.  "Hold me", she said.  Again I wrapped her tightly in my arms, never wanting to let go.  "You smell," she slowly whispered in a sleepy voice, then laughed softly and faintly.  I laughed quietly in return.  It was then she asked me the one question I feared,

"Daddy am I going to die?'

I stared into her big blue angelic eyes.

"Everyone dies, Sweetheart."

Somehow, the words comforted her as they twisted my insides.  Tears slipped from my eyes, trailed down my cheeks, and fell from my chin.  She tried her best to share her strength with me, to comfort me.  For this was my little Leigha's way.  Her first concern was always for others, especially those she loved, even as she stared death in the face.

It was several years later and twelve surgeries further, when I gave my daughter's hand to the one who would hold her in eternity.  We were alone again and I held her in my arms for the very last time.  There was a look of worry in her eyes as she stared into mine.  Experience told me, she was concerned for her mother and I. 

I pulled her close and whispered in her ear,

"Mommy and I will be fine Sweetheart." 

The break of a smile formed on her lips

"When you see Him baby, you take His hand and go with Him"

My words seemed to fill her eyes with hope.  As I gazed into them for the very last time, my fear was realized ... she left me for Him.  I felt her sweet spirit rise, leaving her pain and diseased body behind.

There has not been a day that my mind has not revisited those last minutes with my 12-year-old daughter Leigha.  Most days I go there many times over.  These days, I view that most painful moment of loss differently.  I do not see death and disease.  I do not see my frail little girl slipping away.  I now see my beautiful little angel standing in a white wedding dress, her body strong and lovely.  She is full of joy and smiling from ear to ear, holding hands with the One she loves the most.  Her Savior.  Her Healer.  Her Groom.  Now I ask you "Could a father be left with a more beautiful memory of his daughter?"

On this Valentines Day, hold those you cherish close to your heart, feel them breathe and take in their remarkable scent, and shower them with love and affection while you still have them by your side.