Shayne (age 13) is an amazing resilient, beautiful young lady who has an innate optimism about her life, her world, her future. She has such a positive outlook on life. She is blessed with that special ability to see beyond the mountains. Her life brings me so much joy. (as do all my daughters) In so many ways, Shayne is a lot like me. She seems to be fearless and loves adventure and thrills, enjoys sports, and likes to travel and experience new cultures, places, and people. Her favorite places are Germany, Hawaii, and New York City. Shayne loves spending time with her friends. She is a computer whiz, loves technology, and is always up-to-date on the latest gadgets. Shayne has an interest in music and the arts and has been involved in Girl Scouts since kindergarten. She just graduated from St. Michaels Middle School and will be attending St. Francis High School this fall. Shayne has a radiant personality and is loved by all who meet her. Adults enjoy her liveliness and creativity. She has a tender spot for God and has developed into a wonderful young lady. I am very proud of Shayne and all she has accomplished.
Shelby just had her fifth birthday. She is a little sweetheart, is extremely intelligent and very articulate. She too is fearless and is a beautiful and brave little girl. Shelby is very compassionate and caring. She always tells me that "she is praying for me, she is praying really hard." Her sincere, innocent, and tender words give me strength to fight another day, to scale the mountain in front of me. She just completed pre-school and will start kindergarten this fall at Capital Christian School. Shelby loves princesses and the Little Mermaid. Her favorite cartoon is Tom and Jerry. She loves her older sisters dearly and enjoys spending time with them. Shelby lives within a half mile of all her grandparents. Both Christina's parents and my parents are very active in her life and spend lots of time with her. They are wonderful and phenomenal grandparents. I am very thankful for their involvement in Shelby's life and for the love and support they have given to all three girls during this difficult time in our lives. At the end of every phone conversation with Shelby, her words always warm my heart and bring tears to my eyes, "Daddy I love you so much. Can you call me again tomorrow?"
Abby (age 13) is a beautiful, caring, and talented young lady. She is extremely polite and courteous, always giving thought to others. Her teachers admire her maturity and gentle spirit and probably wish there were 50 more like her. Even though she is not my biological daughter, I see her as if she was. I never have liked the term "step" in defining a child, and I have never considered Abby a "step-daughter." I have always seen her as one of my girls. I have been involved in Abby's life since she was four. She has a deep love for God and is very active in her Christian school. Abby just graduated from Middle School at Capital Christian and will be attending Capital Christian High School (my alma mater) this fall. She is extremely involved in school sports and is very athletic. She also has interests in music and art. Abby is a very talented and gifted ballet dancer. She performs annually in the City of Sacramento's production of "The Nutcracker Suite." She has been a ballerina in this timeless Christmas classic since kindergarten. Abby also enjoys traveling and love Hawaii and Washington DC. I am very proud of Abby and the wonderful young lady she has become, and of the accomplishments in her life.
I am very aware of the impact that my situation has on my daughters. To have a father/step-father in prison is humiliating, shameful, and embarrassing. It impacts them emotionally, mentally and spiritually. My incarceration is a great burden for their young lives to carry. The pain of what my girls go through internally weighs heavily on me each and every day. Hourly, in my awakened hours, I interrupt whatever I am doing, find a quiet place, and lift them up to the Lord. I ask Him to touch them, strengthen them, to be there for them in my absence. I pray for my case, asking and pleading, beseeching God for a miracle, so that I could be there for my girls, and be granted the opportunity to make my wrongs right, to bring full restitution to investors who suffered losses in the Investment Fund. This is the cry of my heart.
I talk to the girls 4-5 times per week on the phone. I always build them up, reminding them of how beautiful, wonderful, and amazing they are, letting them know, I am so proud of them. I tell them they are brave and full of courage. In our conversations, when the situation arises, I substantiate their feelings, letting them know it is ok to feel anger, shame, and hurt. This is important for them to hear, especially from me. (This topic does not come up with Shelby.) Our dialogues cover a wide variety of subjects. I catch up on their world, help them with homework, learn about their day, talk about their dreams and hurts. I make sure they know they can share any problems they are facing. In our communications, I always build up their mothers. I remind the girls how blessed they are to have amazing moms; their moms are beautiful, wonderful, courageous, and intelligent. I believe it is so important for my daughters to hear ... "Daddy respects, loves, and cares for my mom very much.” Our conversations always end with prayer and then I send them a long kiss through the airwaves.
I write my daughters often, sending them cards and letters of encouragement and love. My writings to them consist of thoughts, stories, and memories. I remind them of better days, of wonderful times shared, events lived, and places experienced. I let them know we will live those memories again and build new memories. I tell them stories of others who have walked this path, came out better and stronger, and went on to do great things with their lives.
In closing, could I ask you to remember my daughters in times of prayer? Please pray that God protects and watches over them, and helps carry them through this difficult situation. They are the apple of my eye and the joy of my life. Thank you for your love and support.
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